Just Go With the Flow

“Groceries, the meditation room is inside.” Richard from Texas, Eat Pray Love

I love telling people that I'm going to yoga. I know what they are thinking – oh, she’s spiritual, bendy and totally on trend too. Is yoga still “in” if it’s not hot? I am probably already behind the times. But in my mind it’s super cool to whip out my own yoga mat and strap along with a Giam block. I slip on my Victoria’s Secret yoga capris with flip flops. For some reason, I am always a sucker for the accessories and the outfit.

Alas, in the rather nondescript “studio” at my gym there is little or no ambience even though the instructor is excellent. The extra yoga mats and blocks are placed with aerobic benches and steps. As the yoga teacher asks us to settle in and forget about the day I find this very hard, downright impossible actually. I often faintly hear Taio Cruz warning me he is going to break my heart along with the whirl of a treadmill and possible a bike grinding. Of course, I soldier on and pretend all is well and tranquil. This is where I struggle with yoga. I always feel like Julia Roberts in Eat, Pray, Love as she has a million thoughts that spring up while she is trying to mediate at the ashram in India. I am supposed to be turning off, but in some ways it feels like my mind is turning on. Where did I leave that medical form – my desk at work or my kitchen counter? Did I pick up all of the necessary ingredients from the Self magazine recipe I was dying to try? Did I remember to lock my car? Geez…it’s totally exhausting.

As a fairly fit girl yoga also frustrates me because it requires so much patience. Some of the poses are hard for me since I struggle with flexibility and I’m barely able to match the style of a woman next to me who is most likely about twice my age. I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others, but it’s hard when you’re in the dark so closely surrounded by people. I was also introduced to the chaturanga in this particular class. Yes, I was a total yoga newbie who had only sampled a few routines at home previously. For those not familiar, a chaturanga is a little like lowering yourself to the floor through a push up. Most days I feel like I am simply collapsing from a plank to a blob on the floor.

As I talked to my boyfriend about the less than stellar atmosphere of the class, he suggested I try a legit yoga studio and take it up a notch. Since this made complete sense, I signed up for a new member package at a local yoga studio. I was not sold, but thought I might be able to disconnect a little more. My first night, I noted that I was not able to wear shoes into the class and that there was incense burning. I felt better already – so yoga, so Zen! I was on my way. The class was really cool and enjoyable. However, there was still the nagging feeling of being inferior that tugged at me. It wasn’t where or the type of class I was taking - it was a struggle because of me. There was still the chatter of to-do lists knocking around in my head and I still felt a little behind the class. I made a lot of my chaturangas a child’s pose as the teacher assured us that was a totally acceptable option. But let’s not kid ourselves, it’s way easier than the dreaded chaturanga. For those not familiar, a child’s pose is sitting back into your heels with your butt grazing your feet and your arms reaching ahead of you. I seriously do love this pose as it is just one of the best stretches ever. Yes! A little closer to relaxation…maybe.

Despite the challenge every class presents, I left feeling a little different this time. Probably just a little more relaxed and a tad calmer. However long this lasted I’m not quite sure. But it was refreshing to feel that way and perhaps I realized that sometimes it’s important to embrace a challenge. After all, we’re all just a work in progress and maybe that’s ok….you just have to go with the flow.